I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
