I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I can text with my tongue
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
