Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
