you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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