he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
