guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
