if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
