You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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