can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
