How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
