I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I have post one night stand depression
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
