Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
