Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
