just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
