She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
