I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
