you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
