creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
