Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
