i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
