he thought i was a dude.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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