I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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