Buhtt sex?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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