she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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