we have pet lesbian snakes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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