I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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