If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
