you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
