I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
