I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
