think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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