I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
