You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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