Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
