i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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