I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
