i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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