My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
