Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
