Cold hands, warm shart.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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