if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
