you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
