I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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