I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
