ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
