Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
