Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
