you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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