yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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