Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
