I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
